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Five years ago today I officially began my job as the Youth Director at Hope Lutheran Church, my first job after graduating from John Brown University in May 2006. I thought it would be helpful to reflect on what I learned over the past five years about myself, ministry, and my context. I reserve the right to add to this list.

1. Theology still matters. While still an undergraduate I had a hunch that if I took youth ministry seriously as an act of practical theology I would be able to live with myself and still be “successful.” Others will have to judge me on my success, but after five years of trying to do theologically-grounded youth ministry I have no regrets. Youth ministry shapes the theological imaginations of our young people, whether we like it or not, so we might as well take that particular task seriously and embrace our roles as theologians.
2. Being a good listener is better than being culture-savvy. Some people tend to think that in order to relate to teens you need to watch the TV shows the kids are watching, read their books, go to their movies, visit their websites, and on and on. I’ve found that simply listening to the youth in my midst makes me a teen expert.
3. Listen to the wise sages. As I read books, blogs and magazines and watch interviews and listen to lectures, there are some voices that can only be described as having “weight.” The weightiest voices in my life have been those who seem to be filled with the most wisdom. There are often loud experts touting their methods (with acronyms) but before long their voices are drowned out by the next. Someone who speaks with wisdom stands the test of time. Three of my favorite wise sages to read and reflect on for ministry: Eugene Peterson, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and Parker Palmer.
4. In faith formation, the local and particular trumps large, one-size-fits-all events. Since coming to Hope, we have never gone to a youth event with more than 300 people. On a rare occasion we will go on a retreat with a couple hundred other youth from the area, and even then I sometimes wonder about the effectiveness. More regularly, we have our own retreats planned and executed in-house. I can make sure the material fits into a comprehensive plan, I can make sure that my kids are interacting (instead of staring at a stage), and I can tailor each specific event to my kids. I haven’t seen any ill-effects from not attending huge stadium-style events and so I’ll probably continue to do without them.
5. Good teaching comes from depth, not gimmicks. I have been told by different youth over the years that I am a “good teacher.” I seldom use curriculum and more times than not my “lesson” gets thrown out the window as the discussion develops around the topic or passage at hand. One unforeseen question can move things off track for the rest of the session. In order to mold a lesson on-the-fly, there has to be a deep well to draw from. I need to know scripture well, to be grounded theologically, ethically, and pastoral-ly in order to bob and weave through where God is leading us as we are studying the scriptures.
6. I have to teach cyclically. I am just now beginning to really catch on that as new people join the youth ministry, usually as they get older, that I need to go back and re-lay some foundational teaching that I have covered in the past. My mind naturally keeps wanting to build on what I’ve done before, but as seniors graduate and new kids come in, I have to start over again.
7. I have to read. This is a personal observation that helps me gauge my level of creativity, initiative, and depth. When I am not reading something, my whole ministry seems to suffer. There is something that is prodded within my mind and soul when I read that permeates everything I do. If I do not take time out to enter into learning and personal growth through reading I am almost certainly in a ministry “lull” within a few months.
8. The dynamics of the youth ministry are constantly changing. As certain fads wear out, technology moves forward, and the actual students in the youth ministry change, the dynamics are always in flux. Certain things that worked with one group may not work with another. Just about every summer I have to rethink what the next year will look like given the teens that are in my midst.
9. Denominations are dying. I have never been a part of a church that was a member in a large denomination until I came to Hope. I have learned much about denominations, especially the ELCA since I have been here, but it is obvious that denominations are dying. The world has changed, and future generations will not be nurtured in faith through massive bureaucracies.
10. I’m a thinker, not a doer. I like to analyze, hypothesize, and dream, but I’m not so good at implementation. I need to work on this.

Here’s to many more years of learning.

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My last post on 10 Things Youth Ministry Needs Less generated a lot more discussion than I expected. The comments left on that post were quite insightful, so make sure to go back and read the 43 comments if you haven’t yet.

But the point of my last post wasn’t to simply be a critic, but to make space for things that I think are really important. For example, if your youth ministry currently puts on a midweek worship service, how much time and energy would you free up for yourself and the other leaders in your ministry if you canceled it? I would expect quite a lot. So, if we’re going to be doing less of certain things, what kinds of things do we need more?

1. Adults – Our students don’t need adults to teach them, they need adults who know them. And the only way they can be truly known is by making sure there are plenty of adults around who care about them and listen to them. Unless your adult to student ratio is 10:1, you could use more.
2. Intimacy – I think we need to quit using the word relationships (“It’s all about the relationships”) and instead start talking about intimacy. We don’t need to do more activities to build relationships, we need to build more intimacy within our relationships. Intimacy tells what kinds of relationships we are trying to develop. If we are going to truly know the young people in our congregations, we are going to have to talk about things that matter, not just what happened at school this week. Having a 20 minute breakout group after a sermon isn’t enough time for our students to develop intimacy with other adults or students. You need extended blocks of time over the long-term to truly develop intimacy.
3. Prayer – Prayer is a naturally intimate pattern of speech, so to develop intimacy with our students, we need to be praying with and for them on a regular basis. Again, time will be a necessary ingredient for prayers to develop beyond shallowness. (For more thoughts on prayer and intimacy, see Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work by Eugene Peterson)
4. Scripture – Scripture teaches us how to pray, how to relate to one another, and how to relate to God. Research shows that our students are typically very biblically illiterate, so we need to do our best to weave scripture in with whatever we are doing. I would caution against adding and adding Bible studies, because that could have issues of it’s own.
5. Passion – Are we calling students to something worth giving their life for? Just a few days ago a 14 year old boy thought something was worth giving his life for when he blew himself up and killed 27 army recruits in Pakistan. Teenagers are naturally passionate people (i.e. your middle school girls & Justin Bieber) if they find something they think is worth their time. Somehow we must recover the passion in our faith. (See Practicing Passion by Kenda Dean for more.)
6. Life Coaching – It seems to me that we assume that every student needs to do well in all their classes and then go to college and do well in all their college classes and then go get a job. What about the kids who is struggling in english, math and science but is a brilliant artist? Or what about the student who always struggles in school but who came into his own when you were building houses on a mission trip? Should we harp on them to get their grades up (and to concentrate less on the things they are actually good at) so they can go to college or should we encourage them to develop and express their natural gifts and abilities? I think we need to pay attention to the uniqueness of each student in our church and help them grow and mature individually, not encourage them to conform to our assumptions about the path everyone needs to take. (I’m not sure if “life coaching” is the best label for what I’m thinking about, but it’s all that came to mind. Suggest something better in the comments.)
7. Integration – Youth ministry needs to think of itself less as a separate program of the church and more as a network of relationships helping teenagers grow in faith. As such, youth ministry needs to be better integrated with other areas of the church. When you encourage a girl to join the adult choir (or praise team) at the church and then you go and tell one of the ladies to make sure and take her under her wing, that is youth ministry. When you send a guy who is good with his hands with the men’s group to go build houses for a week instead of taking him with you to camp, that is youth ministry. When you cancel your normal youth group activities for a week to allow your students to lead VBS, that is youth ministry. The goal is to see people growing in Christ, not to see them come to your events & programs. We need to seek out ways to integrate students in ways that fit their unique gifts.
8. Practical Theology – Since I said in the last post that we could probably do with less youth ministers, what role do we have in the meantime? I think one of the most important roles for a youth minister to play is that of the ministry’s practical theologian. Practical theologians make sure that the way we do things is congruent with theological convictions we hold. I have written about this before, and there’s a good article by Tony Jones on this subject in the January/February issue of Immerse Journal (at this moment, you can read it online).
9. Originality – If all of the above things are happening–adults who intimately know students, prayer, integration, practical theology–then your youth ministry should look unique and be a fluid organism. Simply look around you and figure out what to do given who is there. Don’t try to conform who is there to what you do. Not every students needs a game/icebreaker, 2 upbeat songs, a serious song, a 15-20 minute sermon, and breakout groups to grow.
10. Parents – You already knew this, though, right?

What else do we need more? Add to the list in the comments.